Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Hoser's NFL Playoff Picks, 2011 Week 3

Taking wife to the hospital this morning, so no detail. 3-1 last week and hit the Lock of the Week for a second playoff week in a row.

Baltimore (+7) at NEW ENGLAND (50.5): Patriots 24, Ravens 16.
New York Giants (+2) at SAN FRANCISCO (41.5): Giants 21, 49ers 16.

Saturday, January 14, 2012

The Hoser's NFL Playoff Picks, Week 2 2011

Autograph signing in the store today, so just the picks! 3-1 last week, including the Lock!

New Orleans (-3.5) at SAN FRANCISCO (47:) Not yet, 49ers, not yet. Saints 26, 49ers 16.
Denver (+13.5) at NEW ENGLAND (50.5): Tim'll be getting down on one knee again, but this week he won't be getting up. Patriots 30, Broncos 13.
Houston (+7.5) at BALTIMORE (36): Something about us still doesn't trust the Ravens to play that well in the playoffs, but home-field advantage and the first trip for the Texans allows them to sneak through. Ravens 20, Texans 19.
New York Giants (+7.5) at GREEN BAY (53): Maybe for fun the Packers will freak out the Giants and play Matt Flynn on the first series. Not that it will make any difference. Packers 30, Giants 23.

Lock of the Week: New England

Saturday, January 7, 2012

The Hoser's NFL Playoff Picks, Week 1 2011

Welcome to The Hoser's NFL Playoff Picks, 2011 Week 1, where we hope Andy Dalton can stop pooping long enough to lose in Houston.

Cincinnati (+4) at HOUSTON (38): Given how Ray Rice dissected the Bengal defense last week, T.J. Yates will have a chart strapped to his wrist that says simply, "There's a sniper on the roof. Throw and we shoot you." Texans 22, Bengals 16.
Detroit (+10.5) at NEW ORLEANS (59): The Saints will be playing without Lance Moore. It won't be enough to help the Lions win, but it will keep the score down a bit. There's also the chance Ndamukong Suh goes nuts, stomps a couple hookers and misses the game. Not like, but it IS New Orleans. Saints 34, Lions 26.
Atlanta (+3) at NEW YORK GIANTS (47.5): It seems strange to pick a team that was actually outscored during the regular season to win a playoff game, but the Giants have to come together at the right time, while the Falcons are just not that great on the road. Force Matt Ryan to throw and you win the game. Giants 24, Falcons 17.
Pittsburgh (-8) at DENVER (33.5): We only have this as a cover for Denver because we figure Pittsburgh will be far enough ahead they'll revert to nothing but running and not scoring, or as it's also known, the Denver offensive gameplan. Steelers 21, Broncos 16.

Lock of the Week: Houston

Sunday, January 1, 2012

The Hoser's NFL Picks, 2011 Week 17

Welcome to the final regular-season week of The Hoser, where it's always tough to tell who'll lay back and who'll decide they want to hammer their opposition, resting players be damned. We'll err on the side of caution where possible or tell you to avoid those games completely.
In case you missed it, a guy in Ontario hit all 15 games in Week 15 to win nearly $850,000 on a Pro-Line pool ticket. He picked Indy AND Kansas City and apparently played a straight $5 game with no boxes. This either makes him a genius or insane.
See you in the playoffs!
Washington (+8) at PHILADELPHIA (45.5): The Eagles have nothing to play for, but hell, they've been playing like that all year. They might be trying to save Andy Reid's job, though. Eagles 27, Racists 16.
Tampa Bay (+10) at ATLANTA (45.5): Raheem Morris will go down with the ship in the next couple of days. Falcons 31, Buccaneers 13.
San Francisco (-10.5) at ST. LOUIS RAMS (35.5): This shouldn't be much of a challenge. Steve Spagnuolo's bags should be packed by halftime. 49ers 23, Rams 10.
Chicago (+2) at MINNESOTA (41): With all the injuries, you really have to feel for the Bears. You do -- I don't. Vikings 20, Bears 17.
Detroit (-6) at GREEN BAY (41.5): Aaron Rodgers should sit down after a quarter in this one, but who knows? Stay far, far away. Lions 22, Packers 20.
Dallas (+3) at NY GIANTS (47.5): You just HAVE to figure Tony Romo will find some way to blow this. Giants 24, Cowboys 23.
Carolina (+7.5) at NEW ORLEANS (55): The Saints need a win to have a shot at the No. 2 seed, but you can't count out Cam Newton. The Panthers will keep it close. Saints 30, Panthers 24.
Tennessee (-1) at HOUSTON (39): Simply the Titans having a shot and the Texans being in. Titans 23, Texans 20.
Baltimore (-2) at CINCINNATI (38): The Ravens have a stake in this game, which means the Bengals will be sitting at home after this week. Or in jail. Whichever. Ravens 20, Bengals 13.
Pittsburgh (-7) at CLEVELAND (32): Handsy Ben won't play much, but neither will the Browns. Steelers 20, Browns 14.
Indianapolis (+3) at JACKSONVILLE (37): (insert changing channel motion here) Jaguars 21, Colts 16.
New York Jets (+3) at MIAMI (39): The Jets are more of a mess than Rex Ryan's intestinal track. Dolphins 21, Jets 17.
Buffalo (+10.5) at NEW ENGLAND (49.5): The guy signing the contract extensions in Buffalo must be the guy who used to hand out the derivatives on Wall Street. Patriots 33, Bills 17.
San Diego (+3) at OAKLAND (48.5): We'll all hoping for a black-and-silver win in this one just in hopes it will finally drive Norv Turner out of San Diego. Christ, it's like you have to put a stake through his heart or something. Raiders 26, Chargers 20.
Kansas City (+3) at DENVER (37½): Tebow plays well in the game and John Elway curls into the fetal position and cries all night. Broncos 19, Chiefs 13.
Seattle (+3) at ARIZONA (40.5): Kinda anticlimactic after last year, ain't it? Seahawks 20, Cardinals 16.

Lock of the Week: Denver
Trifecta: Denver, Oakland, New England